Why it is so important for you to LOVE YOURSELF first.
January 31 2022
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January 31 2022
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How can you love someone correctly if you don’t even know how to love yourself? In order for you to love someone else, you must first love yourself. There were times where I put others before me, I never realized that I had an issue with loving myself because I was confident in every aspect but it wasn’t until I fell in love I began to realize the lack of self-love I had for myself. You’ll never really know how much you love yourself, not until you try loving someone else. If you allow yourself to stay in a situation that is hurting you emotionally and you allow yourself to be disrespected repeatedly; who do you love more your mate or you?
I truly believe that no one can love the same way twice especially after being hurt. After being hurt and finally getting the courage to love again you try to do everything differently, you’re more cautious; trying your hardest not to give your all because you refuse to fall too deep like before. Being in love especially at a young age is a learning experience, you get to learn who you are, and in the process of learning who you are you lose yourself. How much of you are you willing to lose on account of being in love? When I say “lose yourself” what I mean is you let being in love, the hurt, the lies change you to the point you don’t even recognize you. You start to do things you once said you would never do, things that you were once against you start to do. Not all change is bad but the change that happens when heartbreak is involved is usually hindering one's life.
I remember when my first love hurt me for the very first time, I LOST myself! I couldn’t focus in school, I cried myself to sleep every night, and as much as I wanted to leave I didn’t. As much as I knew the situation was unhealthy for me I did not leave. At the time I felt it was a sense of losing, I had invested so much time into this person and I was not about to let someone else win or give him the chance to love someone other than me. In the process of trying to keep something that was meant to be let go I became so worried about him I forgot about me.
After I finally got out of that situation I started moving different, dating different, and my mindset was different.
I was broken, but it was not until my last situation where I refused to lose myself the way I did with my first love. What I did differently was instead of trying to go out and try to find someone to fill the emptiness I was feeling, I found GOD! It was not until I found God, I realized losing myself was not an option. Building a stronger relationship with God was the smartest thing I ever did in my life! It was like an immediate weight lifted off of me. Only God could have saved me from my own self-destruction. Do you know how it feels to get the courage to love again after being hurt and trying to rebuild yourself only to be hurt even more than the last time? You began to lose all hope in people and you start to believe everyone's intentions are bad but this time I refused to lose myself. Certain things I stopped believing in, like trusting others, I just pray to God I believe in them again because
I know that is not me and I don’t want hurt to change me. It wasn’t until I found God I was able to grieve properly. I take everything I’ve been through in a positive aspect, I forgive the people that hurt me, I don’t lose hope in love and I continue to pray for the ability to trust and be able to love again. I never really took the time out to focus on me, so in this season I focus on loving myself. Loving yourself takes time you may have to disconnect from people who serve no real purpose in your growth.No love is greater than the love God has for you, so do not be afraid to let go of situations and people in this season of your life because holding on to people, places and things will only damage you.
I have never been loved correctly and I can’t even say I loved others correctly, but every time I loved I gave it my all, trying to hold on to people that were damaging to me, and that just proved to me that I did not love myself enough. There was a time I put others before me on account of love, I risked me, my morals, my values, my self-respect, my sanity, and my health on account of loving someone else.
In this season I see the growth within myself and let all the glory be to God!
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hope, always perseveres.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV
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